Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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