Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
