Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize