one two three fourrrrnication!
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Randomize
