Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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