You made me cry and you don't even care
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
