I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
you win again, gameday.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
wow bdsm is so cute
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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