Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
