I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
They took my balls.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
