I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
