I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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