how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
