@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
