so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
as a side note pls kill me
Randomize
