She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
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He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
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I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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