we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
