Say something about gay babies.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
