Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Randomize
