let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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