I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
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