I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
