God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
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He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
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