its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
