Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
