I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
