The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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