I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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