We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
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