im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
