um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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