I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
