is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize