This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
well you can't waste a boner
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Randomize
