I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize
