So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
