Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
