You're so nebulous sometimes
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
