the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
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