ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
