All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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