i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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