Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
They have beer where we have blood.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
