I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
