I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
