Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
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