her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
being pregnant is like rehab
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
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Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
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seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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