Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize