When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize