hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
