there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
