I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Randomize
