Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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