The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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