i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
