***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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