The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
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I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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