id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
