absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
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she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
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At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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