i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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